Current date: 4/04/2018
Days ’til departure: 11
So, to sorta kick-off the remix of Life Without Will[power], I’ve decided to list some things I picked up during my last experience of a long-distance relationship.
These are just basic things, not necessarily life-changing but still realizations I had to fully come to.
If you think of anything else to add on, feel free to comment down below as well!
1. Life goes on.
The world keeps spinning; people keep moving. Even though your little world is shattering, the rest of the earth doesn’t stop its motion. You can’t expect everyone else to stop just because you’re hurting.
Eventually, the days get less difficult to power through. You find some distractions (whether it’s work, school, friends), and smile a little brighter each day.
And, yea, maybe some nights, you lie in the dark with too many thoughts abuzz in your head, but you know tomorrow means you’re one day closer to seeing them again, and it’ll be okay.
2. It’s way too easy to freak out about the little things.
You have to learn to roll with the punches. Is it going to hurt when your boyfriend isn’t there during family events? Yea. How about when you want to visit this new restaurant/hang-out spot, and the one person you want to take there is a couple thousand miles away? Oh, definitely.
Don’t panic. So, they haven’t texted you in a while. That’s okay. Schedules are hectic, whether it’s work or sleep. Even during a normal day when both of you are home, it’s still hard to find time to talk or catch up. Take a deep breath, try texting/calling again later, but don’t stress.
This is so weird to hear coming from me, since I am a naturally anxious person, but you’ll worry yourself sick if you stress about every little detail or minute you’re apart.
3. Communicate, communicate, communicate.
I honestly don’t think I can stress this one enough. Communication is definitely key to making your relationship work while separated (or just in general).
Talk to each other. Take time to text or call or Skype or whatever. Send a quick ‘good morning’ text, or a ‘just checking in to say hi and I miss you’ message.
Don’t expect to always get a response within minutes or even hours (or days, for that matter). But, also, don’t be afraid to double text, to try and find a time when they’re available to talk. Honestly, you need that time.
Personally, I opted for less phone calls and more texts, mainly because every time I answered the phone and heard his voice, I found myself getting emotional and unable to even say anything back. But to each their own.’
4. Don’t board yourself up at home.
This ties in to #1 a bit, but don’t push everyone else away. Make plans with friends, go to your normal church group meetings or hangouts, answer phone calls. It’s so easy to just hide in your room, listening to sad songs and hating everything.
It’s crazy how just hanging out with some friends and grabbing lunch can really lift your spirits, even when you feel so lonely.
I know that, personally, I started avoiding going to my Thursday night church group by picking up shifts at work, since it was a group that Will and I always went to together. I didn’t want to answer questions about how he was doing, how I was holding up, etc. But, when I started going again, by myself, I realized how much I had missed the social interaction.
Whether it was Ryan’s punny message titles, Kato’s warm love/smiles/laugh, Taylor’s new book suggestion of the week, Angie’s genuine interest in how I was doing/how work was going, Jacob’s little peace-sign greeting, or just the overall welcoming vibe of the group, I was definitely kicking myself for having missed out on other opportunities to hang out with these people (didn’t list everyone ’cause there’s not nearly enough space for each of them!). I think that even having the opportunity to be around them without Will, and get to interact as an individual a little more helped me open up to the group.
5. “It’ll all work out.”
This is actually Will’s little motto for life. And I think it’s a valid point to add in. This whole long-distance thing is only for a season. It seems hard at the moment, but it’ll make the reunion so much more worth it in the end if you just let things happen and don’t try to control every aspect of life.
Even though, throughout my first experience with being away from him for so long, my emotions and willpower (ha) were stretched thin, I know that I learned a lot and got to reap the benefits in the end, despite the hardships and struggles.
I’m nervous, still, for what’s to come. This time around, he’ll be gone for substantially longer. But, I know we’ll be okay. “It’ll all work out.”